I did a lot of research when preparing for this video. I
checked out my man Dr. Phil, who always gives practical advise. I checked out a
few articles from Your Tango and Men’s Health, yes, some more practical advise.
However, there was no one talking about the spiritual aspects of a
relationship, and why marriages fail. I suppose no one has a real answer,
that’s probably why the divorce rate is so high. However, I wanted to create a
video that has worked for many of my clients in the past. It is a video about
the 7 Essene Mirrors. Couples can use this esoteric knowledge to not only save
their marriage, but also have deeper more intimate relationships with their
partners. Here’s how:
1.
What are the 7 Essene Mirrors?
The people we attract are mirroring what’s happening in our
lives. We attract bad spouses, terrible bosses, and even unruly pets. We bring
all of these things into our lives to teach us lessons, or to help us see the
things that are buried in the unconscious mind or shadow side of self.
2.
Love is a form of power that comes from God.
There are two types of relationships. There are
relationships that are strictly on the physical level. These relationships are
extremely superficial and are just about survival. People in these types of relationships
believe that it’s easier to just stay together because of finances, kids, work,
and reputation. They put on the proper façade, not wanting anyone to know that
they are miserably married. Then, you have the other types of relationships.
These relationships are totally rare because they come from God. Now, it is possible for relationships to
start out on a Godly level, but because of the earthly plane, this powerful
vibration known as love, begins to degrade.
3.
First mirror reflects to us who we are.
We’ve all seen the couples that are walking and talking
stereotypes. We’ve seen the co-dependents matched up with the narcissist (that’s
me). We’ve seen the abusers matched up
with victims, and we’ve seen the enablers matched up with social paths and
takers. So why does this happen? Why do we continue this negative people
pattern that is completely dysfunctional? It happens because we are attracting
people when we are at our weakest state.
So we attract people, to help us learn a lesson, but we can’t because we
simply aren’t strong enough. We need love to heal. Sadly, in many situations,
the partners that we choose aren’t able to give it to us, so we have to get
that love from somewhere else.
Solution
Create a daily ritual where you get up in the morning and
focus on love. You can engage in prayer and meditation. However, it is
important to understand that a daily love routine is as important as your
morning cup of coffee and shower.
4.
Second mirror reflects the things that we judge.
I know, judging is really a form of human nature. We have to
make judgments to protect ourselves. However, when we start judging other
people, we are really telling on ourselves. Judgments reveal our own
insecurities. When we believe that someone is incompetent and say “she doesn’t
know what she’s talking about,” the truth of the matter is that we don’t know
what we are talking about. The old saying goes that whenever you point the
finger at someone else, you have four fingers pointing back at you. Judgments
make you feel uneasy because there are obstacles and issues in your life that
needs to be resolved.
Solution.
Be mindful of judgments.
Be sure to keep a journal and right down all the things that bother you
about your spouse. Then, ask yourself. Do you engage in the kind of activities
that you loathe so much? Or, is there something holding you back, (lack of self
confidence), that is causing you to not move forward. The best thing to do is
work out these issues by yourself, and then later, you may approach your
spouse.
5.
Third mirror reflects all things that have been
lost, stolen, given away or taken away.
This tends to be the primary reason, why the man, or the woman,
would cheat in a relationship. Now, I sincerely believe that people can be
happily married and still cheat. The reason for this is that people are
constantly looking to get back the things that they have lost, had stolen, or
had taken away—particularly when they were children. For example, if a man had
to spend his childhood babysitting his younger siblings. He may become
resentful to his parents for robbing him of his childhood. Furthermore, he will
be attracted to any woman who reminds him of the things that he lost. So when
he sees this woman who is open, free, innocent, and childlike, he is going to
be drawn to her like a moth to a flame. The soul is going to work hard to
balance itself out. It will work to heal itself by attracting what it needs to
grow. However, a married man or woman may not be able to accept it because
they’re in a committed relationship.
Solution.
Figure out why you’re attracted to this person. Do they
remind you of something, or someone that you’ve had taken from you? If so, who?
What can you do to heal this part of your soul that is badly damaged. Once
you’ve identified this, you can then talk to your spouse and ask him/her for
help.
6.
The Fourth Mirror reflects your forgotten love.
Oh this one is a big one. We subconsciously compare our
first love with all subsequent lovers. If we don’t compare them to our first
love; then we compare them to a prototype that we have in our heads. This is
dangerous, because the prototype is an illusion. Furthermore, our first love is
no longer the person we remember them as.
Making a comparison between your spouse and your mental prototype, and
making comparisons between your spouse and your first love, is like comparing
apples and oranges. They are two totally different things.
Solution:
Comparisons create unrealistic expectations that are almost
impossible for our spouses to live up to. Instead, focus on accepting them for
who and what they are. Of course, you may want them to be better. But it is
important that you make them better for them, not for you!
7.
Fifth mirror reflects back to you the behaviors
of your fathers and mothers.
It is often said that we marry people who are like our
parents. Research has now concluded that
behaviors and even memories are stored in our DNA and then passed down to our
offspring. This is a scientific process known as epigenetics. Once a behavior
is embedded in your DNA, it is very difficult to change, because the behavior
becomes instinctual.
Solution.
Recognize the patterns. Are you arguing like your parents
did? Is it helpful? Can you come up with a better solution to your
problems? What was it that bothered you
about your parents? Do you see those patterns erupting in your marriage?
8.
Sixth mirror reflects the darkness of the soul.
The healing aspects of all relationships involve facing our
fears, the darkness that is inside of our souls. A lot of times we are afraid
to speak up, because we are terrified that we might lose love, respect or
power. We need to understand that in
relationships, we must sacrifice our power, our vulnerability, our time, in
order to gain a harmonious relationship.
Solution.
Write down what you are most afraid of? Are you afraid of
confronting your spouse out of fear that you might lose the love that you
receive from him/her? If so, continue with your daily love meditations and talk
to him/her only when you are completely ready.
9.
Seventh mirror reflects back to us our self-perception.
We tell others how we want to be treated. If we have low self-esteem and are not aware
of the value that we bring to relationships, then we will become walking
talking doormats. However,
self-perception is not just about how you feel about yourself. It is about your
own sense of personal power. Power plays a pivotal role in virtually all
relationships, particularly marriages. And you must learn to manage this power
in order to create sustainability.
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