Beyoncé’s New Album, “Lemonade” Teaches Women How to Deal with Jealously

I get up every morning and check my Facebook page, yes I know, it is a bad habit. However, I want to try and answer comments on my page before my day gets started. Then, I see a video Icon of Beyoncé’s new video, Hold Up. I watch for about three minutes as she walks around, looking beautiful in her yellow Spanish ruffled gown, while smashing in window shields with a baseball bat. The video ends with her in a big wheeler, rolling over an array of junk cars. Wow! Somebody pissed her off! I wonder who that could be? So in this article, I am going to explain to you how jealousy works, and how you can stop it from ruining your reputation and relationship.

You have to learn how to control your craziness.

My aunt would always say that to me with her thick Spanish accent. Any one who is Puerto Rican understands that we are short-tempered and hot-blooded people. We are also insanely jealous. How jealous are we? We are the hacking people’s private parts off with a machete jealous.  My aunt would always reel us back in by telling us to control our craziness. Why, because in truth, that is what jealousy is, it is crazy.  Jealousy is a powerful energy that takes over us. It triggers our sense of fear. It probes at our insecurities, and causes us to regress to a primal state, where our animal instincts take over.

Our genetic code tells us that we need to be with a man.

I understand that the modern day woman is free and independent. However, back in the cave man days, women needed a man to survive. In fact, women were very particular about who they mated with, because sex followed by childbirth was a life or death situation. Women would encourage men to fight to the death, so they could mate with only the strongest. This would not only ensure that her offspring would live, but also, that the father would be able to protect her from any future threats.  Women were simply rendered helpless while they were pregnant and needed a man to provide them with both food and protection. Today, women work and have a means of providing for themselves. Sadly, our genes haven’t gotten the memo. After thousands of years of evolution, stress still triggers our flight and fight response.  In this state, we can go buck wild crazy.  This happens, because we are genuinely afraid that we won’t be able to survive without our spouse.

Jealously is a form of stress.

A wise man once told me that jealousy is a form of worry. You’re constantly worried that he might lose interest in you. You’re constantly worried that he might find someone better. You’re constantly worried that he’ll become tired of you. In these situations, you’re worried about something that hasn’t happened yet. So if you’re worried about something that hasn’t happened yet. It’s not real. It’s an illusion. Sadly, many women suffer from jealousy issues because they have unresolved issues, or they’re still suffering from the pain from a previous relationship. I recently started studying NLP, and was absolutely amazed of how the mind works. For example, your memories are not real. They are just a subjective interpretation of your past experiences. So if you’ve suffered from trauma, and haven’t healed from that trauma, you’re going to keep injecting those feelings into your current experiences. For example, your husband may have forgotten to call you. You begin to conjure up all of these emotions that he doesn’t want you, that he’s found someone else, and that he’s cheating on you. In reality, he is stuck in a meeting with his egomaniac boss. Of course, we understand that your thoughts and emotions create your reality.  It is called a self-fulfilling prophecy, where you start to engage in this pattern of unfulfilling, dysfunctional relationships.

“Would you’d rather look hurt or crazy?” Beyoncé

When jealousy merges with rage, things become chaotic. That’s when we start to do things that we might later regret.  Now, it is important to not suppress these emotions. I get complaints from a lot of women who tell me that they’re angry. Okay, you have a right to be angry. How you deal with that anger is a whole different subject entirely. I think that Beyoncé has the right idea. She channels it into her music and art. I do the same thing with my fiction writing.  People criticize my writing, saying that it is too graphic and dark. However, that’s my way of dealing with my demons. Now, have you found yours?

 Jealousy is hard to control when you have abandonment issues. 

I suffer from abandonment issues. Whenever I get involved with someone who I care about, and who I am invested in. I start to inject those fears into that relationship. I then worked with a Tantra instructor; he explained to me that jealousy stemmed from trapped energy. It was then that I realized that I had a great deal of blocks in my 2^nd and 4^th chakra.  So I figured out a way to release it. I started to write, and blog, and create books. I began to find that creating was the most exhilarating feeling in the world. By doing this, I was able to free myself. After a while, I was no longer dependent on other people to give me love, or to make me feel wanted, or happy. I was simply able to find all of those things inside of myself. As result, I started to have much better relationships, because I found unconditional love.